Paradise Diner
The Play | The Music | Reviews | The Authors
Scene I, continued
Darla: Okay, conspiracies can happen —once in a great while--but I still say that Buck’s reality checks are startin’ to bounce…
(Chris Camello enters–the other three call out “CAM-ELL-O” as he heads toward them and sits down at the counter. He smiles and slaps Randy on the back. Susan brings him a cup of coffee.)
Susan: How’s our fearless Town Supervisor today?
Chris: Well, I just had to oversee the removal of a dead deer along the road–it’s not a smell you want to think about right before lunch.
Susan: And you said your job was boring and thankless.
Chris: It is, not to mention that I don’t get paid to do it. But, there’s a sucker born every minute, right? How are you Miss Richards?
Susan: Another day another dollar...
Chris: You got a raise?
Susan: (smiles) When we were back in high school, did you ever think that you’d end up dealing with smelly dead animals and I’d end up serving coffee to people who deal with smelly dead animals?
Chris: (laughs) How’s Jill?
Susan: Good. I imagine she and her “people” will be in here soon. They’ve all got a pretty bad case of senioritis. It’s a little early since it’s only October. But they’re all dreaming big about what they want to do.
Chris: She’s a good kid.
Susan: Yeeahh, She’s not a homebody like me. She wants to study law...to live in the big city...she’ll do it too. She’s got some drive and smarts, that girl...
Chris: Well, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Susan: Hmm. I’d like to think that, but I don’t know...there’s something restless in Jill, something that’s never been in me...I guess she got that from her father...he couldn’t stand it here. I’ve always been happy for my world to be my family, Johnson City and Paradise Diner.
Chris: No crime in that. You do alright. Where’s she applying to school?
Susan: Columbia, Princeton, Duke...some pretty good schools...
Chris: Good for her.
Susan: You want anything to eat, Chris?
Chris: No thanks. I can’t eat after that deer experience. Anyway, I’ve got to head out to meet the Hering Brothers. They want us to think about re-zoning so he can build more townhouses on the old Hackman farm.
Susan: So much development around here...I’ve got mixed feelings about it. You’re not gonna let him build too many now, are you?
Chris: They just want to increase the number a little bit...I can understand their perspective, it’s a financial risk for them...and hey, more customers for you, right?
Susan: I guess... well, speaking of money...I’m going to the bank. Darla take care of this fine customer, will ya?
Darla: Okay. C’mon Chris. The Pumpkin Custard pie just came out of the oven a few minutes ago....sure we can’t tempt you?
Chris: Nah, I’m tryin to stay in shape, Darla.
Darla: You are in shape...round is a shape...(laughs and snorts at her own joke.)
(Jill and her friends Carrie, Rachel, Kristine, Bo and Jason enter the diner, laughing and joking around. Bo is dribbling a basketball.)
Darla: (Yells over) AH!! SILENCE THAT BASKETBALL MISTER OR I’LL DRIBBLE YOU!
Bo: Sorry, Darla!
(Lara walks over to them and a few of the girls say “hi” to her)
Lara: Hi...
Jill: (turns to her friends) Do we want anything?
Rachel: I would love a coke, please...
Carrie: That’s full of sugar...bad for your body...
Rachel: Thank you, body police-man.
Kristine: I’ll have a diet coke, please.
Carrie: That’s even worse, the aspartame causes holes in your brain...
Kristine: Carrie!
Jill: I’d like a glass of water with lemon please, Lara. (Yells to the boys who are laughing and not paying attention) YO--GUYS! Do you want anything?
Bo: I’m alright, thanks.
Jason: I’d like a cheesesteak with onions, a large plate of fries, a large coke and a large piece of cherry pie.
Jill: It’s not gonna be on the house, Jay...
Jason: I’ll have water.
Jill: That’s two waters, a coke and a diet coke, thanks, Lara. (Lara leaves.)
Rachel: How’s Lara’s English coming?
Jill: It’s actually getting better and better. She’s just shy about using it. She’s a really sweet girl...her brother is sweet, too.
Carrie: (Looks over at Oswaldo who is going in and out of the door to the kitchen.) Yeah, he’s sweet and cu-ute...
Kristine: Forget it Carrie, he’s not gonna make enough money for you...
Carrie: I don’t need him to make money–I’m gonna make money...he’ll just be my boy toy.
Jason: Bo, do you hear this sexist conversation they’re having....I am offended by your use of the term “boy toy”–don’t trivialize us! It’s “MAN toy,” you got it?
Carrie: Sorry, he’ll be my “man toy,” then.
Rachel: Don’t you wonder about their lives...I mean, what they were doing before they came here? I know I shouldn’t ask this, but are they....illegally here?
Jill: I don’t think so–they’ve got family who are sponsoring them, but they aren’t citizens yet. My mom is sympathetic about immigrants. I mean it was their peoples’ land before we threw them out–kind of like we did with the Native Americans.
Kristine: Yeah, but people get upset that so many are coming every day and they’re doing it illegally. I came as an immigrant from Ukraine when I was a little girl, but my family had to wait years to come in. We had to take our turn.
Jill: They’re coming because there are jobs–jobs that no one else wants to do. If there weren’t jobs, they wouldn’t come.
Rachel: True. None of us are willing to bus tables and wash dishes here five days a week...right?
Jason: I think it’s the Spanish...everyone gets tired of hearing Spanish everywhere.
Rachel: Yeah, and when your ancestors came, the people who were already here said the same thing about them–only it was German, not Spanish.
Bo: Yeah, everywhere you went it was, “WO IST MEIN BRATWURST!!” (He accidently tosses ball, it bounces around and hits various tables and knocks something over. Darla comes over and confiscates the ball while giving him the evil eye.)
Bo: Sorry Jill, I’m gonna get you in trouble with the management.
Jason: She is the management. Or daughter of the management. And someday you’ll take over and be the big boss, right, Jill?
Jill: Not me. I’m not sticking around this town. I’ve got places to go...(music starts for: I’m Going Places.)
I’m Going Places
(Jill)
I’m goin places, I’m goin places,
I’m goin places, I’ve never seen
I’m goin places cause soon I’m eighteen
I’ll be a judge you can’t nudge
or I’ll help write the laws
I want justice to always prevail
the white collar crooks with their arrogant ways
I’ll be happy to send them to jail
(All)
I’m goin places, I’m goin places,
I’m goin places, I’ve never seen
I’m goin places, (Rachel) cause now I’m eighteen
(Rachel)
I’ll go to Thailand and buy land
and build a huge house
and orphans will live with me there
they’ll be safe and happy
I’ll watch them all close
and they’ll grow in my love and my care
(All)
I’m goin places, I’m goin places
I’m goin places, I’ve never seen
I’m goin places, (Bo) in May I’m eighteen!
(Bo)
I’ll go to state just you wait
and their records I’ll break
and reporters will write what I scored
my fans will ask me
“Yo Bo, aren’t you pumped?”
And I’ll yawn like I’m really just bored
I’m goin places, I’m goin places
I’m goin places, I’ve never seen
I’m going places, (Kristine) Hey, I’ve been eighteen!
(Kristine)
I want to travel, unravel
and see the world first
then college, and a six-figure job
I’ll have a few kids and I’ll give up my work
then I’ll live in sweat pants like a slob
(looks confused like she didn’t expect it to end that way,
stands thinkingwhile the others sing the next refrain)
(All)
I’m goin places, I’m goin places
I’m goin places, I’ve never seen
I’m goin places, (Jason) cause yeah I’m nineteen
(Jason)
I plan to keep expectations
exceedingly low
and say that’ll end up a bum
then anything good that I do with my life
will delight both my dad and my mum
(All)
I’m goin places, I’m goin places,
I’m goin places, I’ve never seen
I’m goin places, (Carrie) I live for eighteen
(Carrie speaks slowly and thoughtfully)
I plan to live very frugally
renounce worldly goods
and live a devout monkish life
I’ll pray everyday
for the good of the world
and I’ll work to remove ill and strife
(All to her speak) What?
(Carrie speaks) I just wanted to see what it was like to say something like that
(Carrie)
I’m going New York at full torque
the fashion world calls
and I will respond “HAVE NO FEAR!”
They’ll be no more Dacron
or gross polyblends
Because Carrie is finally here!!
(All)
We’re goin places (places, places )
To open spaces (places, places)
We’re goin places( places,places, places, places)
we’re goin places (places, places)
you can’t outrace us (places, places)
Jill:
I’ve never seeeen!
All:
we’re goin places
(yell) AND WE ARE EIGHTEEN!!
(Curtain closes)