Paradise Diner
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Scene VII
(Randy comes in and sits down at counter. Susan, Darla and Ginny come out from back. Look over at Buck sitting in the back corner.)
Darla: Your Dad’s in bad shape, honey.
Susan: I know. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do for him, for me, for the diner...this is becoming a nightmare. (For the next few minutes, three tables of people come in–staggered–and Lara waits on them.)
Ginny: It’s like the thing you read about happening in some town somewhere else, but not to you.
Susan: I thought it was so straightforward: The Hering Brothers made an offer to buy the diner. We said “no, thank you–we don’t want to sell.” Shouldn’t that have been the end of it? Then a month later we get a letter about possible seizure for the “public good” and “eminent domain.” I mean, the whole thing is so shocking....
Randy: Yeah, well, they can’t be doing it without your old buddy Chris Camello on board. Notice we haven’t seen him around here since you got that letter.
Susan: He’s been away on a vacation. He’d never do that to us.
Randy: Whatever you say...
Lara: (comes over from waiting on two ladies.) These ladies are asking about the pies–wondering if they are good.
(Darla and Susan look at each other.)
Susan: Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Darla: Go girl! There’s nothing that will perk that man up faster than braggin about his pies!
(Susan goes over and says something to her Dad–he slowly pulls himself up and walks over in the direction of the two women.)
Buck: Ladies, I understand you had a question about the pies?
Woman 1: Yes–we’re just passing through and we saw the sign outside “Home of the Twenty-One Pies.” That’s a lot of pies, they’re not all homemade are they?
Buck: (Clasps his heart like he’s been hit.) Madam, you cut me to the quick. I can most certainly assure you that they are ALL homemade–we make them right here on the premises. We’re known all over this part of Texas for our homemade pies. Sandra Day O’Connor has eaten our pie!
Woman 2: I’ve never been a big pie person.
Buck: That’s because you’ve never had our pie, Madam. (Lights dim. He sings Ode to the Pie.)
Ode to the Pie
There are many little pleasures in this life
Your house, your kids, your business, your wife
There are many little things you like to do
Hunting, fishing and to bowl a strike or two
Many is the time that I’ve praised the Lord on high
But I praise the Lord most loudly, when I praise Him for the pie
(First time Buck, 2nd waitresses, third ALL)
We have strawberry and raspberry and blueberry today
Lemon meringue and coconut cream and cherry by the way
We have farmhouse raisin, strawberry rhubarb and Dutch apple too
Shoofly and banana cream pie and Key Lime just for you
There is peach crumb and pecan and pumpkin if you would
Coconut custard, pumpkin custard, custard’s always good
There is sugar-free cherry if dietary needs are a concern
Peach or cream or apple, any pie for which you yearn!!
Woman1: Well, my goodness, you certainly know how to sell your pies. I guess I’ll have a slice of coconut custard, since “custard’s always good!”
Woman2: And I’ll have the sugar free cherry!
Susan: Very good ladies...Ginny, can you get the pies, please?”
(Crowd breaks up and Darla, Susan and Buck go over to counter with Randy.)
Susan: Dad, that was your best pitch yet–I tell you, you’re the master–the Prince of Pies!
Randy: The King of Kustard!
Darla: The Lord of Lemon Meringue!
(Buck sits and smile a little.)
Darla: Now, didn’t that take your mind off this whole silly land thing?
(Susan gives Darla a look like “what are you doing?” Bucks face tightens. He crosses his arms and looks away in disgust.)
Susan: Dad, really—you’ve got to get out of this slump. We’ve gotten a lawyer and we’ll just have to rely on her to help us navigate this.
Buck: We shouldn’t have to spend money on a lawyer to protect what is already ours! They’re a bunch of damn criminals is what it is!! (pounds the counter.)
Susan: Really Dad–think about your blood pressure. I don’t want you to worry about any of this–we’re going to take care of it! I promise! Now I want you to go over to the Lion’s Club and find a card game to get in on–alright?
Buck: I don’t want to–
(Jaspar and Smitty enter, holding rifles.)
Jaspar: Buck, we’ve been thinkin’ about it and the only thing you need to do is git your gun and stake out here until them developers come. We’re gonna help ya.
Buck: I’ve got a gun already. Her name is Ellen Margolas, Esquire.
Smitty: Aw, heck. You don’t need no lawyer Buck. You need Smith and Wesson here to do your talkin’ for ya.
Buck: Nah, fellas. It’s not like the old days. The big rancher would try to scare off the little guy by ridin his horse onto his property and threatening him with a gun. Now they send their lawyer onto your property riding a Mercedes SUV, and instead of a gun they’ve got a lot of papers you can’t understand.
Jaspar: Buck, when it all comes down to it, a man has got to be able to protect what’s his! That’s why God gave us guns!
Buck: I don’t think God gave us guns or lawyers. I think those are man-made contraptions and we’ve created our own purgatory with both of ‘em. (Waves off his friends and sits at a table, dejected.) Fellas, I’m sorry but I don’t want guns involved and I don’t want to threaten anyone. I just want those son-of-a-buggers to leave us alone!
Susan: Jaspar, Smitty–why don’t you guys and Dad go over to the club–he just needs some time away from this place.
Jaspar: Alright. You heard the little lady, Buck. Let’s make like a tree and leaf!
Susan: (Follows her Dad to the door) Thank you, guys. Dad...you’ll see...this will all blow over and we’ll laugh about it one day...
Buck: You might laugh about it, but I won’t! (Exits behind the others.)
Susan:( Looks out the door after him.) I hope we laugh about it...
(New dishwasher walks out from the back. Strange man with thick glasses and poor posture. He talks very oddly.)
Susan: Hi Frank.
Frank: ...hello...
Susan: Did you need something?
Frank: ...I’m sorry I have to leave...I can’t wash dishes for you anymore...
Susan: Frank you just started five minutes ago...is something wrong?
Frank:...I think it’s the soap...it chaffs my hands...
Susan: Oh, well we have gloves you should wear.
Frank:...I’m allergic to latex.
Susan: Actually I don’t think they’re latex...
Frank: I’m allergic to...not latex things, too.
Susan: Okay Frank. Thanks for trying.
(Frank starts to leave going out the front door.)
Susan: Can we have the apron, Frank?
(He turns back and unties it.)
Frank: Could you please not tell my mother that I quit if she calls?
Susan: Sure, Frank.
(He waddles out of the restaurant)
Darla: What a man...and ladies, guess what! He’s single, too!!
Susan: Great. Now on top of everything else, I have no dishwasher today! (Flops over on counter.) I don’t know...maybe I’m being too attached. Maybe God’s trying to tell me something with this whole development thing.
Randy: Like what? That you can’t trust politicians?
Susan: No. That we can’t get too attached to things. Maybe it’s just my ego that’s invested in this place–I mean, I can’t go on forever....and Jill has no interest in taking over the business...Dad would hate to close it, but he’d have to adjust... life goes on, right?
Darla: (Looks at Randy) Girl, what is goin’ on here? Are you lettin’ ‘em mess with your head?
Susan: (Agitated) I don’t know! Ugh! The last thing I want is to spend the next couple of years fighting politicians and developers! Dad is too old to fight this—so I have to do all this—crap! That is not me–I hate confrontation!
Darla: Susan Richards, you listen to me. You’re not alone. You’ll never be alone. Everyone is gonna get behind you. This diner is the heart and soul of Johnson City. Folks have been sitting at these tables from JFK’s assassination to the 9/11 attacks and everything good and bad in between.”
Randy: (throws in slyly) Yeah, like Bill Clinton.
Darla: (barely turning toward Randy) People who discuss politics with their bedfellows could be in danger of losing their bed and their “fellows”….
Randy: (smiling) Someone still has a crush on Bill…
Darla: (Looks back at Susan) Pay no attention to the peanut gallery, Susan—we are going to fight this and we are going to win!
(Jill, Rachel and Kristine come rushing in out of breath.)
Susan: What is it? Are you okay?
Jill: Yes mom, we are REALLY okay! We’ve made a really important decision!
Darla: You guys aren’t goin for tattoos are you–I gotta warn you--I tried to have “Carlo” taken off a tattoo that said “I love you Carlo” and it was so painful that after the “o” I had them stop. And I can tell you there aren’t any cute guys named Carl in this part of Texas. (Pauses a few seconds.) I looked for about four weeks...
Jill: No–Mom–we decided to get involved in this whole eminent domain-land thing. We really want to help lead the fight against it!
Susan: Oh honey, that’s really sweet of you, but you have to focus on your future. You can’t be thinking about this right now. Things could get really bogged down, and besides, I’m not so sure it’s something any of us are equipped to deal with.
Jill: Mom, you don’t understand. I mean, I’m really gonna get involved in this....I’m taking a deferment at Princeton for a year. I’ve already called and told them.
Susan: What?! Jill, I don’t want you to do that...you’re ready to go–to start pursuing your dreams...
Jill: Paradise Diner and Johnson City are a part of my life, Mom. I realize that now. You know, Oswaldo and Lara are hundreds of miles away from their family and they still do everything they can in their power to help them. They can’t be near them because of circumstances, but I can be here--school can wait a year. It’s not going to hurt anything. You and grandpop have given me so much–this place means so much to me–the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was the right thing to do. You can’t talk me out of it, so don’t try.
Susan: But what about your scholarship?
Jill: We’ll see. If they really want me, they’ll respect my decision.
Susan: Oh Jill. Are you sure?
Jill: I’m totally sure.
Darla: Boy, it’s times like this that test what it means to be a family–and girl (hugs Jill) you sure got another A+.
Rachel: We’re gonna help too, Susan.
Kristine: Totally. We want to make this a big issue-to get as many people in Johnson City as we can involved.
Susan: Well, I don’t know what to say–I really appreciate what you kids want to do, but I’m not sure we can come up against these guys–I don’t think I’ve got the Township Supervisors behind me...
Jill: So what? If we can get the town behind us, then they’ll have to come around, right?
(Jason bursts through the door with Bo.)
Jason: Susan! Jill! Look, I just did a whole bunch of research on this eminent domain thing and we’ve got to fight it!
Jill: (Smiles and laughs) We just came in and said the same thing! Only we haven’t done any research....
Jason: (Flipping through papers) There are so many people out there who are having to fight this stuff–it’s unbelievable. Did you know that in the past four years there have been more than 10,000 condemnations of properties for private gain–and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. But this group called “Castle Coalition?” They have a website with all this great information–all these success stories–people are really fighting and winning and we can do it to!
Susan: How do they fight it?
Jason: (excited) They have rallies, protests, publicity campaigns–they work to vote out local politicians who support eminent domain abuse–they totally get the media into it–newspaper columns, TV coverage...it’s amazing, but once you really just push back and keep pushing, they do back down! There are a lot of success stories!
Jill: (excited) That’s great Jay–we can circulate petitions–
Jason: -of course…
Jill: Find out how many people we can get on our side–
Rachel: Yeah, then we can get t-shirts printed and buttons for a rally–
Kristine: A rally that’s also like a big dance or something–
Bo: With a great band–make it fun too–
Darla: Oh, that’s a great idea! Fun is always good! Why should we stop livin’ just cause those skunks are threatening us?
Jill: Yeah, we can have a big event right here at the diner–we’ll get some media coverage–
Susan: (Getting excited) You all are making me feel like maybe we could actually do this!
Jason: (goes over to Susan and puts his hand on her shoulder) We can, Susan. You’ll see-it’s your place and they have no right to do this to you. In Ardmore, Pennsylvania and Roseberg, Oregon and Cheektowaga, New York–they’re fighting and winning. And we’re gonna win, too.
Jill: Jason, I’ve never seen you like this. What’s gotten into you?
Jason: I don’t know. I guess I just started thinking about it and I realized that this is a real thing…and it’s happening to us and there’s so much we can do–we don’t have to just sit around and take it–we’ve got to stand up for ourselves!
Jill: This is the real you, Jay. The you we’ve always known was in there. (She hugs him-a lingering hug and they look at each other.)
Jason: Yeah, I feel like I’m waking up–like for the first time in a long time–I’m really awake!
(Sings I’m Awake, I’m Alive)
I’m Awake, I'm Alive
(Jason)
I’m awake, I’ve arrived
feel my pulse, I’m alive
somethings calling out to me and I must listen
Moving here, moving there
it’s around me everywhere
welcome me, your new friend Jason, I’ve been christened
I’m awake and I feel
everything is now so real
Every neuron in my brain is now transmitting
moving high, moving low
there’s no place that I can’t go
welcome me, your new friend Jason, I’m committing
No more loafing lying on the couch
No more wasting time bein’ a slouch
The old me’s out I took him for exchange
the new me’s in I’m ready for a chaaaange!
I’m awake, yes it’s true
there is nothing I can’t do
I’ll be taking on the world and you can join me
We won’t shrink, we’ll expand
We’ll become a mighty band
Come on people let’s go out and move the Red Sea!
Jason: (repeat first two stanzas) Others: We’ll fight it, we’ll fight it, we’ll fight it, fight it, fight it
We’ll fight it, we’ll fight it, we’ll fight it, fight it, fight it
Jason: (repeat second two stanzas) Others: (repeat above)
Jill: Oh how grand it is to see
Jason’s heart is full and free
Everyone will soon agree
This is who he’s meant to be!
Everyone:
we’re awake, we’ve arrived, we are ready, we’re alive
we are taking on injustices appalling
let’s go here, let’s go there, let’s go out there everywhere
come on people, it’s our time
the world is caaallliiiing!